100 truths (6 years later)

So the last time I did was on 2010 I guess ? 6 years ago ? I'll be doing one, 20 year old me ! I'll be leaving my old answers below just to see how much I've changed :3

So since this is 100 truths I'll be answering this as honest as possible. Pink answers are the current

 WHAT WAS YOUR

 1. Last beverage mineral water
  Pepsi ! 

 2. Last phone call: ika pantek =D
   I called my ex, U but just a misscall so last call was mama

3. Last text message: sheera syafeera 
Celcom reminding i've used 70% of my data

4. Last song you listened to: feeling this - blink 182
No Future-Blink182 !

5. Last time you cried: yesterday. 
On wednesday, 2 days ago 

 HAVE YOU EVER

 6. Dated someone twice: i've :D
Not sure my current boyfriend (Haikal) we had a thing when we were younger but Idk haha 

 7. Been cheated on: once, 
It's still once but I just don't really care now 

 8. Missed someone & regretted it: NO! 
I hvent been missing someone & regret it haha 

 9. Lost someone special: i've. 
Yea but I don't really care now

10. Been depressed: not always. 
Depression is part of my life :')

11. Been drunk and threw up: nahh 
Nah nope 

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS

 12. black 13. blue 14. pink 

12. Black 13. Pink 14. Nudeeeee !! 

 THIS YEAR (2016) HAVE YOU 

 15. Made a new friend: yessss :) 
I mean like a lot haha I'm in college now

 16. Fallen out of love: yessssssssss
What does this meana nyway hahaha nope i GUess  

17. Laughed until you cried: noooo 
I know I did but only if I can remember wht was it all about haha probably about Ari 

 18. Met someone who changed you: nooooot yet 
Changed me into what ? A better person ? No. No one changed me 

 19. Found out who your true friends were: nooooooo 
Gosh yes 

20. Found out someone was talking about you: yesss, there are manyy 
I mean.. yeah.. college life duh lol 

21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: nahhhh 
I don't kiss anyone on my friend's list 

 22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: 153
Wait what are we talking about facebook's friends life or what ? If then IDK

23. How many kids do you want to have: 3 or 5 
What was I thinking ? I want none or one 

 24. Do you have any pets: yes, cats -_-
Manja died & I dont have any pets anymmore 

 25. Do you want to change your name: hell no 
Kinda wanna kinda don't 

 26. What did you do for your last birthday: bekerja, -_- then jamm! :D
Fucking cried :) Because someone forgot to wish :) But he belanja sushi :) But no :) 

 27. What time did you wake up today: 6.15am *_* 
10.....? am Im awake at 2.35 now so does that mean I wake up at 1?

28. What were you doing at midnight last night: hehehehe >:)
TRYINNA GET MY ASS HERE, fuck Express Kesatuan

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: forgiveness and err mcm mana nak ckp ah, ahh, understanding 
MY UNI LIFE TO BE OVER I'VE BEEN SUFFERING FOR ALMOST 2 AND A HALF YEAR STRAIGHT NOW 

 30. Last time you saw your Mother: before entering the gates of hell that is, school! haha kidding ;p
She's sleeping infront of me now still refused to go inside the room aww 

 31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: the divorced?
What divorced tho ? What was I thinking ? I would change the place I'm studying. I'm never good at leaving home 

 32. What are you listening to right now: sounds of the rain pouring, haha 
Fan spinning

33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: no
I guess not doh haha 

 34. What's getting on your nerves right now: my dad 
My assisgnments. I might actually die 

 35. Most visited webpage: Myspace, facebook, twitter,
Youtube, Twitter, instagram 

 36. Whats your real name: AZ QYEFARRA AZIZ BINTI ZULKIPLY

 37. Nicknames: For now it's Qi ? 

 38. Relationship Status: Taken   3

9. Zodiac sign: Buto semua ni 

 40. Male or female?: Female



 41. Elementary?: 
SK Seafield 3 

42. Middle School?: 
SMK USJ8

43. High school/​college?​:​ 
--
UiTM SERI ISKANDAR

44. Hair colour: 
Brown

I bleached it few times and coloured it back with chestnut brown so its lighter brown now

45. Long or short: 
Medium length 

Mediummmmm and growing :D

46. Height: 
154 I ain't growing, that's the part I hate being an Asian 

157 hahahahaha

47. Do you have a crush on someone?: 
No but I like some of my classmates. I like them blindly because they are devils

I have a crush on.. no one honestly I'm obsessed with my boyfriend

48: What do you like about yourself?: 
I'm easily change

Yeah lol its true I can easily change but I like that whenever I go I'll be looking back at home again <3 span="">

49. Piercings: 
Nope 
I don't havea any new piercings haha

50. Tattoos: 
Nah :-) but I'll have one if I get to arrive in Heaven

Haha no

51. Righty or lefty: 
Was supposed to be a righty but then I was just meant to be a lefty 

Yuppp

FIRSTS 

52. First surgery : 
Hmm, never

Nope 

53. First piercing: 
Ears, both left and right but they are drowned

Yup, 

54. First best friend: 
Haziqah Abd Halim <3 nbsp="" span="">

And always will be I guess ? Hehe

55. First sports you joined: 
Olahraga :'-)

58. First pair of trainers: 
IDK
I do remember now it was a shoe my dad bought at Giant ae I thought it was pretty cool

RIGHT NOW 

59. Eating: 
Nothing
Kfc's coleslaw and mashed potato mixed

60. Drinking: 
Durian belanda 
Nothing

61. I'm about to: 
Comb my hair and get dress 
Trying to get all my shit together today
62. Listening to: 
The Imaam reciting Al-Fatihah
Ari singing Flashlight

63. Waiting on: 
Dinner outing
Probably some food

YOUR FUTURE 

64. Want kids?: 
I'm scared to give birth as the doctor once said I'll be facing risk if I get pregnant because I've problems with my backbones 
Yep, the same damn reason

65. Get Married?: 
Absolutely 

66. Career?: 
Artist? 
Hahaha bitch IDK
WHICH IS BETTER 

67. Lips or eyes: 
Eyes 
Ohhh you got green eyes oh you got blue eyes ohh you got grey eyes

68. Hugs or kisses: 
Hugs & kisses

69. Shorter or taller: 
Taller 

70. Older or Younger: 
Freaking older 
Doesn't matter

71. Romantic or spontaneous: 
Both 
Spontaneous 

72. Nice stomach or nice arms: 
Nice stomach! :-D 
Nice stomach haha

73. Sensitive or loud: 
Loud 
Never a sensitiver 

74. Hook-up or relationship: 
Rlrtnshp 
Relationship la !

75. Troublemaker or hesitant: 
Neither
Troublemaker :<

HAVE YOU EVER 

76. Kissed a stranger: 
No
Nopeee

77. Drank hard liquor: 
No 
Nopeeee

78. Lost glasses/​contacts:​ 
Uh huh :-( 
So many times

79. Sex on first date: 
Nopety nope
Not 


80. Broken someone's heart: 
Many times 
Mmmyep

82. Been arrested: 
Nohh
Nope

83. Turned someone down: 
Uh huh and I kinda regret it because he was SO NICE and STILL
I guess thats just something I do ?

84. Cried when someone died: 
Not yet. But I cried when my cat died :'((((((((((((((((((((((((((
So many people had died man. Yes. I cried when my friend, my aunts died  

85. Fallen for a friend?: 
Yup 
Alif Haikal
DO YOU BELIEVE IN 

86. Yourself: 
Uh huh, I guess so 
I don't know maaaaaaaaaan :(

87. Miracles: 
Sometimes
Sometimes I do, 

88. Love at first sight: 
A litttle 
Haha everything at first sight is just nothing

89. Heaven: 
Absolutely, Jannah is real

90. Santa Claus: 
Bullshoot :-) 

91. Kiss on the first date: 
Omg don't remind me but it was sweet and funny :-]
Ewwww

92. Angels: 
Yes I do

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY 

95. Did you sing today?: 
Ooooo o oo oo yeah, I really miss you miss you I said. YEP!
I didn't

96. Ever cheated on somebody?: 
Yes, cruel me 
:<

97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: 
Back when in the 90's 
I could go into the 90s again but right now I just wish to be in school again when I wrote this 100 truths :(

98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?: 
You tell me omg everyday in last years was damn sweet. I'll take the day the first time you waved at me and I speak to you! 
The day when me and Haikal had a thing and I would accept him and go together with him <3 100="" a="" after="" did="" font="" i="" robably="" this="" truths="" year="">

99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: 
NOPEEEEEEE 
I don't want to fall in love with anyone else again.

100. Posting this as 100 truths?: 
Yeah
YAAAAAAS

I am writing this because I want to express how I really feel towards myself. I'm just going to write this simultaneously so if my English is terrible, that's just how I write. I just realized I have been mediocre my whole life. I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing but according to my lecturer, that's just something not great. It's not even a compliment if you try to understand it longer. You're not too good you're not too bad. It still sounds okay to me. Or maybe that's just what is is, just okay. Nothing spectacular. 

I have been wasting my holidays with a lot of confining myself in a room for days, been staying up at night for several nights, fever that lasted almost one week and a depressing birthday. All of that wouldn't happen if I didn't have that thing called anxiety. I cannot explain what's wrong with me. I mean, the reason why I don't wanna go out from the house is mainly because I'm too scared. That's my real problem since I don't know when because I was doing pretty fine when I was 13 until 14, 15 is still acceptable. 

Until one day I began to change myself, wearing tudung, pray and stuffs that makes me so afraid of api neraka. Everything I see, I see fire burning people except I can't visualize the actual fire because api neraka is pitch black. Starting when I was 16, I barely go out & I don't remember after that until I noticed the changes to my old self at the end of the year 2012. I got my final examination papers and wondering why I did I dropped a lot. And so 17 was the age I started to become a satan again. I am so shameful of myself. I could've done better, at that time I swear I'm giving up SPM. But God is the most forgiver. I got pretty good results for SPM, something that's not mediocre to my mum. She said Alhamdulillah and I swore I would do anything to give my mum taste every bliss in the world. I regret for changing from bad to good and worse. It's true what they say, people's Imaan is very fragile if they don't keep up to strengthen it.

<br> But look at me now, I changed into a whole new person. I'm not as bad as before but I'm not an angel too. I keep myself in the house, not wanting people to see how pathetic that lady is. I am aware that I was born like this, And I also keep to myself that not everyone can accept me as who I am. Even if they do, I like to think twice whether they're just pretenting to not let me hurt. I'm very thankful for those who be friends with me sincerely, these type of people I can see it thru their face that they truly understand what's the meaning of temporary life. I may seem like a happy girl who laugh and smile and talk ordinarily like there's no wrong in my life. Only because I know no one would understand me. It's better to keep inside.  <br>

But cukuplah mati sebagai nasihat.<br>

I almost give up in life but I still want to find reasons for me to live longer. 

Matilahnak. Lingkup.

Babi ah aku rasa aku lingkup doh, tak lama dah ni. Aku tak buat kerja lepas lepas lepastu skrg ni semua kena buat balik sebab memang kena buat pun. Cuak gila, dah lah banyak pulak tu lg lg printmaking. 

Inilah reality yang paling palat aku pernah lalui, sekolah pun tak macam ni woi. Of course lah, sekolah memang lagi okay pun. Aku sanggup je amik SPM banyak kali, entahlahnak rasa macam senang gila je. Sekarang baru nak cakap kan ? Hahaha. 

So subject Time Based dah berakhir petang tadi, it was predictable lah sebab aku pun memang dah siap, then bab bab illustratting and Photoshop-photoshop ni aku memang pro sejak umur 13 tahun. Cumanya masuk U ni advance sikit lah, Alhamdulillah aku ni fast learner jugak lah.

Ni next assessment ni aku dah tak boleh nak go, I pushed myself hard but it didn't work. Aku nak try siapkan drawing berukuran A1 catridge paper dengan menggunakan pensil, lukis Greatmaster Paul Cèzanne. Aku nak siapkan 40% pun jadi lah malam ni tapi berat gila nak buat, rasa ngantuk nak give up semua ada. 

Lepasni aku kena siapkan watercolor A2 tu pulak. Printmaking jangan cakap lah, haram. Sebab tu aku cakap aku lingkup ni. Mesti kaw kaw kena hentam dengan semua lecturer. Aku ni dah lah dah kena aim, bukan sebab apa pun. I'm too sassy for them. Okaylah, tak sabar nak balik rumah and aku tak rasa aku survive minggu last ni. Toodles. 

How my naps always went

10 Feb. 2015

It was like any other afternoon, I was taking a wonderful siesta. Not intentionally though. I guess I was way frazzled. I fell asleep on Lin's bed (my rommate) and drowned into a sleep paralysis. It was unusually cold. Well, the room has been chilly all the time but at that moment, it was colder. I wrapped myself in a blanket in the middle of afternoon. It was around 1PM. 

My pitiful soul left my body and teleported me to a decent shower room. The image displayed from my dream cloud was rather faintly, I can only thought it was a memory of the time when I visited UiTM Tapah. So, I assumed it is from there. Never ask why, my soul was just casually traveling.  I was taking a shower and thought it was real. 

The second place took in my hostel room. Back to the place where I basically catnapping like a mew mew. Surmising my poor pale soul returned to this sick body and start dreading to the core. A bothersome gesture happened to crawl on my skin. I felt a kid was beside me, laying down. Feels so creepy but to be positive, it could be a memory from home. The times where Ari always who was the one who wants to sleep bilik Kakak. 

In a few seconds, my alarm I set for Time Based lesson, throbbed my eardrum and I knew I will be late if I don't get up immediately at that moment. I still can't move. That's the worst part when SP decided to attack you. 

Another indecisive action of mine, I tried unplugging the charger from my cellphone. It's so strange of why I did that because I didn't even charge my phone at the first place. My hands reflex a sense, apparently my phone was boiling hot, like a kettle. 

That's when my last phase was ending. I was quite aware I was awake, only I was incapable of moving my organs. My view stuck, pausing at an image of my room door. It lasted only for awhile until Lin returned. SNAP ! I suddenly can move freely just in a sec. 

Then I realized how pathetic I sound in this story. The end. 

Immersed in serenity.

So I decided to go for a swim tonight. It was spontaneous. It had to. You know how much problem I have when it comes to going out from the house. I went out quickly to avoid questions coming from my parents. They somehow don't allow me go to the swimming pool by my own or even take a swim. She's worried about the lung disease which can caused from swimming at night. She's right. As the matter of fact, I've taken showers at night too often, almost everyday. It could be dangerous. But tonight I had to go. I can see it was filled with many people. Well usually it's not many as that. I'm guessing around 10 to 12 people in a pool ? I was looking for a spot where I can be alone, lying on water (yes I can lie on water, I'm Jesus) and let go of my dreadful thoughts swim away. I was unlucky because the stars weren't there. But the moon probably was intending "I will make it up to you" the glow was not a disappointment, thank God. I love the moon too. It's just I craved for the stars more because I haven't seen them in a quiet long time. As I fold my red towel to hide my phone, I jumped in. I hesitated at the beginning though about swimming and hovered between just sitting at side of the pool or just go for it as I was already in a swimming outfit. I was thinking I just want to be in the shortest level. I was drained to float constantly. It takes so much energy to do that. But diving is a must. Being in a swimming pool is the best feeling ever. God knows how much I love underwater. The sound of water burbling when I sink myself in. I had to take my glasses into the pool too because I literally can't see. Being short-sighted might be the most bummer thing in the world. You just can't see things. Plus my sight is getting weaker and weaker. Strange that I still give fucks. No. I'm fond of looking at windows of peoples' home from the swimming pool. Nice nice interiors. Nice lighting. And nice life. I also got paranoid when a maid, probably, wiping windows seriously hard and she looked like she almost slip from the windows. Everytime she pushed out her body out of the window, I would be "Don't do that, don't do that". Been watching at her for a while. Creepy huh. I know. The azan was heard. From that I know it was almost 9 o'clock. The kids were still wrestling underwater. I'd be lying if I say it didn't reminds me of my childhood. It was where everything happened. In the pool. I really wish I could watch everything again. Sweet sweet memories. Back when swimming pool is a must place to be and be all hyped. I need to go home. The kids were going back home one by one, maybe gone asking permission from their parents to have a sleepover. I heard their conversation. I forgot to shower and straight away gone home. I was suppose to complete a mission actually but oh well. I should do this more often.

My dream story (1)

This happened when I was in my hostel in Perak. Basically I'm just telling what I dreamed :) 

I dreamed of home too much lately. But I'm not sure whether I'm chronically homesick or just dreaming because my meaning of homesick would bring tears. I still remember as a kid. Even if I was with my family at the moment, sleeping at my aunt's house in Bangi, I couldnt take the emotions I called my dad. So last night, I was dreaming but I can considered it as nightmare because the Plusliner bus that's taking me home jalan dulu. I was crying and don't know what to do since thats the only chance I will ever get home thinking that how much money I have wasted because this would be the second time Im missing the bus. However I still manage to get home. I dont know why. The first place taken was from my futsal cage which is now turned into outdoor gym. And I saw something familiar. That was my childhood place where I was playing and grew up. I used to run around the futsal cage because the fake grass is kind of cute and comfy despite the little rubber spreaded all over. I was with my cousin. We were wearing white as if we've gone through that situation. I saw someone. Was wearing white too, standing out the futsal. I know thats him. What is he doing there. How did he know I am here. And then I remember it the scene was taken from the past. The way his outfit shows can be predict 90s kid cloth. Idk. Haha. 

I graduated from SMK USJ 8.

Oohh damn. Im graduating. Like tomorrow, just tomorrow. Less than 24 hours. I have been thinking a lot. Including tonight. Im not sure Im starting to have insomnia or its the coffee of Café Supreme effect. Oh ya, I have been sleeping for hours today even its 19 days left for SPM (fuck me).  Been slowly killing myself for hours with listening to songs at the early 2000s. Im pathetic because Im scared of the past without a reason. Maybe because how things have changed so much. You know youre suddenly reminded of how tired you were on the first day of secondary school which was in afternoon session and the next thing you know, you are going to fucking graduate. I love how the future excites me. 

Just in one night which is now (12.35AM, 20 Oct. 2013) where there's literally nothing left to do, I previewed my life for the past few years especially on secondary school moments and I wont change a thing about it. It made me for who I am today. Life have not been nice lately, but I always overcome it with some visions of the pasts. 

It was great. Im ending my school life so damn precious. 5 Fasih is the fucking shit. I even cry sometimes about it. Im gonna miss you guys. Those selfish bitches, racist bastards, MMA obsession freaks, and teachers that has been tortured by us.

 Thats it, its either Im going to sleep at 4 again or just stay up until the day :) I dont always cry, but if some tears are going to shed tomorrow.....

Farra's comeback.

This is insane but I'm coming back. I only remembered the only reason why I dont post anymore simply bcs I've forgotten my Google password but anyway I managed to remember it tonight so I'll be posting again. Mostly from my "notes" I saved immediately I wrote a thought. So, yeah. I'mactive again now :)

My new years even 2012 story.

I know there's no one here but I keep looking at my online users counter and it keeps showing there's always this one person visiting, haha. Whoever you are thanks for caring :p So, my 2012 has been nothing but so awesome. I can tell it was an amazing year. Also I just managed to be with one person in a year. Ill truly miss 2012, being 16 was the most unforgettable moment in my entire life.

New Year's Celebration

My new year's eve went so unbelievably sick ! I celebrated it at the usual place, The Curve with two of my lovelies but this time together with Al Hafiz, Yuszley and Arieff. I wasnt expecting he would come. Its been a while since we had a conversation over the social network. At first, our night went so terribly dull and that moment we know its time to change the location for the next New Year Celebration. I thought this could must be as bas as 2012's and planning to shift to another place, like Pavilion since our long lost friends were there. As we observed around our surrounding, there was no sign of party sprays. That time I was guessing those sellers wouldnt come here anymore as I only can seem to find borin people that night. However that was before we met the boys. I never think that dullness is due to the clock. It was actually still early. Not long after a few quarrels with the boys on the phone, yelling where we exactly are, we finally met. I hate them for one thing, they dont greet they only pretend they didnt saw us and passed by until I notice. Not to forget giving that awful-he-think-he-is-cute-but-not smile. After that, we did anything we could to kill time. All and sundry were started to grow bigger crowds. I manage to overcome my dreadful jadedness after had some long-time-no-see chat with the boys. We were arm in arm most of the time as the ocean of crowd is getting packer. It was such a drag to me to go around the building which is quite small to find out which port is the most perfect place to create some major disarray and riot. Guessss whaat, those party sprays were insanely sold by us. They did come after all. It was an eye opener to me that the night will be fucking sweet.

It seem to be already four days we're not talking to each other. Believe it or not I did this on purpose. I'm aiming to figure his ability, to see what would he do if I'm missing. Not a single word was given to him for the few past days. So far, he only could message me through Twitter. Can you believe that ? Well maybe he did text me but only ONE time. I was hoping that maybe he could appeared in front of my school and ask me why am I doing this to him but it seems hopeless. Funny how his trust towards me burned up that quickly. The content of the messages include his assumption of me having an affair and thought of leaving him. Throughout the days, he never call me. Not even once. I'm pretty sure I've figured out his stage of caring about me. Its obviously so slim. But I couldn't say he's a jerk or heartless because when it compares with me, we're similar. However, at least I tried towering up his inbox or anything until he starts talking to me. The best part of doing this erring yet winning thing is when in his scattered mind, he thought he did something distasteful 'cause I'm suddenly muting myself from him. Out of my expectation, he ultimately admits he starts smoking again (or he didn't even stop) Of course not to me directly, it was through his tweets. It's not that I'm against smokers but that is one thing he promised to me, if he couldn't handle it then stop being so deceptive that you say you've quit. I bet he wouldn't even know I have a blog. And I'm here held my head and wailed, dazed by the intensity of the pain. I'll be here just fine, motionlessly waiting for the mornings, evenings passed slowly and for a better visibility. Not to forget, his further actions.

Iftar with mateys.

Wow just wow. Couldnt remember the last time I posted something here was on March.

I thought yesterday was one of the best days of my life so I tend to jot it because I'm terrible at remembering things even the precious ones. Im going to say the same thing ppl have been saying - if I could just turn back time, I'd be listing the dates. So, it's the last four days till Ramadhan ends. Couldnt deny my favourite month went so fast. Miss Herni our practical teacher has always been loving us since day first aha she invited and asked us to plan to have an Iftar at anywhere before Ramadhan ends and she leaves the school :-( We decided to eat at the most common place among Subang Jaya which is Sunway Pyramid. I thought I was late when Ck called me when I even havent took my shower yet. And yes, my thoughts were right. I hate rushing it makes me so panic I couldnt dress up properly but thank God the bus understands me and arrived a little late. Took a bus at the bus stop infront of my apartment and sat beside Cikgu Herni with Ck and Amirul behind our seat. Luckily it was still early cause the traffic halted for so long. When we finally reached there, we met Gabe and Adam that has been waiting for us at the arcade. They were with Sofea, Faznina and Maisarah also. I'm not complimenting Adam but his outfit for last night was smoking. Black sneakers is totally a major turn on. I might having one next time. I wore flats for the first time and nope they're aint my thang. My day could have been better if I wear my Vans. Without any delay, we bought tickets for Step Up Revolution. Totally not my thing but I enjoy watching dances. Unfortunately I have this habit leaving my glasses at home, honestly it was blurry all time. I kinda grateful for that cause yknow I hate looking and boobs and asses they make me feel I'm in Hell -.- Thank you for Ck too cause blocking my eyes everytime those scenes appeared. All this cinema went after we had our Iftar at the foodcourt. My mateys are the best at making racism jokes and ditching ppl for fun in class but when it comes to dining table, I almost got choked with my food inside my mouth each time they started doing their job. After having a wonderful times with them, its time to say goodbye and wishing teacher Selamat Hari Raya since yesterday was the last day of school :-( It went bad on me cause I was on the phone with my little brother and suddenly teacher had left us. But oh well, if God wills we'll meet again after a week of holidays. Waited for the bus that took us forever and stopped at Taipan to have supper. Since Murni was full we headed to Mcdonalds. Until it was 12 o'clock, every parents of us started to call, leaving mother loads of misscalls. Since everyone need to go back home, I and Adam, Ck, Amirul walked back home in the dark all way to Court 7 while Ck and Amirul 6. The girls went back with Jibril and his mom. Pretty terrifying for me cause I havent been out night like last night for a year. Last night was considered as my 'freedom' I think haha. The barriers for the LRT constructions made us harder to cross the road and we had to be extra be careful. Cause before we crossed the road a black car stopped beside us and Adam thought we were finally busted cause person in the car could be a robber with dangerous weapons. I laughed so loud when it was only Daniel. Haha man that was really a joke. Adam sent me til Court 7 and I got so sleepy and drowned in my dreams.

Tick Tock

The clock struck 2.30pm and reminded me that I should have been doing something meaningful like memorizing some Surahs as time won't halt just for us, one. I've been repeating the same Surah while I'm performing my prayers. However still, I don't receive any exclamation of doing that. I really know I must grow some in myself but the presence of the 'compose mood' barely exist in me, so it'll take only a little time for me to spend it and I assume it as a chance.

Everyone in my house are doing their personal businesses. Wait, that's just me. My brothers are entertaining each other in the small living room of mine and making massive loud noise with all the angry squeals plus annoying laughs because they enjoy bullying my little brother. While I'm individually here, inside my harmony bedroom without switching any electricity on, doing non-benefit matter. I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WHEN IT COMES TO SCHOOL HOLIDAYS. I don't know..I feel lifeless without school. None to do. Can't imagine when it comes the time I reach 18 years old. I hate growing up and I bet you all do. You know what they say growing up isn't fun as it thought it will be.

Friends? Well, I would go the duck out every single damn day to malls and rollerskating. But that happens only if I was a rich motherf--cker. I will. I will hang out with some of my schoolmates on tomorrow which is Wednesday, where most people would stomp their feet down to the mall. Everyone especially hippie youth flood and occupied all spaces inside.Grabbing half-price movie tickets like fishes swimming to eat baits. In my case, it's not confirm yet for the reason a decision I made few days ago on going to Singapore. Why did I agreed? Kinda regret because I have least of cloth to bring there. Sh-t. What a future mess I have created.

By remembering the faulty decision, my mood drifted. Ugh..

ALRIGHT. 100 TRUTHS

Hundred

WHAT WAS YOUR:

1. Last beverage
Ice water

2. Last phone call:
Luqman. Brother's friend

3. Last text message:
You have (3) misscalls..

4. Last song you listened to:
Pumped Up Kicks

5. Last time you cried:
Last two days

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Dated someone twice:
Nope

7. Been cheated on:
Once

8. Missed someone & regretted it:
Nope

9. Lost someone special:
Yeah

10. Been depressed:
Of course, especially when I've been ditch

11. Been drunk and threw up:
Nope & never will

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Black
13. White
14. Transparent

THIS YEAR (2012) HAVE YOU:

15. Made a new friend:
Yeap

16. Fallen out of love:
Yes haha

17. Laughed until you cried:
Not yet

18. Met someone who changed you:
No

19. Found out who your true friends were:
Uh huh :')

20. Found out someone was talking about you:
Yea, there is a few

21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list:
Nope

22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life:
1

23. How many kids do you want to have:
Freaking none

24. Do you have any pets:
Kitties :-)

25. Do you want to change your name:
Yeah I'd like to :-(

26. What did you do for your last birthday:
Study lol

27. What time did you wake up today:
8 am

28. What were you doing at midnight last night:
Constantly closing the door as it keeps opening (and that time, I remembered Ghost Adventure T_T)

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for:
Marry!!!!

30. Last time you saw your Mother:
Just now at the living room

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life:
That'll be definitely my right unstable arm, I'm such a meddlesome you know

32. What are you listening to right now:
Azan Maghrib

33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom:
No

34. What's getting on your nerves right now:
Nothing

35. Most visited webpage:
Facebook, Twiiter, Tumblr, YouTube

36. Whats your real name:
Az Qyefarra Aziz, Aziz's my name

37. Nicknames:
Farra

38. Relationship Status:
In a relationship

39. Zodiac sign:
Gemini

40. Male or female?:
Female

41. Elementary?:
SK Seafield 3

42. Middle School?:
SMK USJ8

43. High school/​college?​:​
--

44. Hair colour:
Brown

45. Long or short:
Medium length

46. Height:
154 I ain't growing, that's the part I hate being an Asian

47. Do you have a crush on someone?:
No but I like some of my classmates. I like them blindly because they are devils

48: What do you like about yourself?:
I'm easily change

49. Piercings:
Nope

50. Tattoos:
Nah :-) but I'll have one if I get to arrive in Heaven

51. Righty or lefty:
Was supposed to be a righty but then I was just meant to be a lefty

FIRSTS:

52. First surgery :
Hmm, never

53. First piercing:
Ears, both left and right but they are drowned

54. First best friend:
Haziqah Abd Halim <3

55. First sports you joined:
Olahraga :'-)

58. First pair of trainers:
IDK

RIGHT NOW:

59. Eating:
Nothing

60. Drinking:
Durian belanda

61. I'm about to:
Comb my hair and get dress

62. Listening to:
The Imaam reciting Al-Fatihah

63. Waiting on:
Dinner outing

YOUR FUTURE:

64. Want kids?:
I'm scared to give birth as the doctor once said I'll be facing risk if I get pregnant because I've problems with my backbones

65. Get Married?:
Absolutely

66. Career?:
Artist?

WHICH IS BETTER:

67. Lips or eyes:
Eyes

68. Hugs or kisses:
Hugs

69. Shorter or taller:
Taller

70. Older or Younger:
Freaking older

71. Romantic or spontaneous:
Both

72. Nice stomach or nice arms:
Nice stomach! :-D

73. Sensitive or loud:
Loud

74. Hook-up or relationship:
Rlrtnshp

75. Troublemaker or hesitant:
Neither

HAVE YOU EVER:

76. Kissed a stranger:
No

77. Drank hard liquor:
No

78. Lost glasses/​contacts:​
Uh huh :-(

79. Sex on first date:
Nopety nope

80. Broken someone's heart:
Many times

82. Been arrested:
Nohh

83. Turned someone down:
Uh huh and I kinda regret it because he was SO NICE and STILL

84. Cried when someone died:
Not yet. But I cried when my cat died :'((((((((((((((((((((((((((

85. Fallen for a friend?:
Yup

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

86. Yourself:
Uh huh, I guess so

87. Miracles:
Sometimes

88. Love at first sight:
A litttle

89. Heaven:
Absolutely, Jannah is real

90. Santa Claus:
Bullshoot :-)

91. Kiss on the first date:
Omg don't remind me but it was sweet and funny :-]

92. Angels:
Yes I do

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

95. Did you sing today?:
Ooooo o oo oo yeah, I really miss you miss you I said. YEP!

96. Ever cheated on somebody?:
Yes, cruel me

97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?:
Back when in the 90's

98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?:
You tell me omg everyday in last years was damn sweet. I'll take the day the first time you waved at me and I speak to you!

99. Are you afraid of falling in love?:
NOPEEEEEEE

100. Posting this as 100 truths?:
Yeah

Dull II

Hooray I'm back composing trash again. Just ended my monthly test today. Can't believe I slept impassively during test without covering my face which was disgraceful. How can I be that sleepy. Who cares, class was quiet. Everybody was busy sleeping, not a single voice heard. I guess that day was a present from God to teachers where their dreams came true.

a day later..

My cerebrum polluted by Maggie's powder and that explains the occurrence of my forgetful mind which I don't remember what happened yesterday ._. Well that's sorta rude, not finishing a story to the end. I apology but I can't type right now. Too many stuffs running through my mind. I'm doing many things in a time right now. To be continue later

Why do people evengo to my blog hahaha

It's March.

Did you know? That today is already in the month of March? Not first neither second but fourth! ON 2012! I hate how times travel as light does. It creeps me out how blind I am facing through the life without noticing time. I still remember it was around 2009 (when I was 13 years old) I looked down the corridor from the place I sit in class, stalking at the seniors who were in Form 2 and I said to myself "One day I'm gonna be like them, being a senior in afternoon session." It made me stopped and thought, I'm actually already sitting in Form 4. I don't even notice I passed my Form 3 life. I guess it's true, life IS short. Like genuinely!

I have better life now. I'm starting to cover my hair. I successfully pray 5 times a day without complaining. But I need to fix negative part in my life, saying s**t, f**k, m*************, sia* and you know what else, you guys are the experts ahahaha ;)

PMR Result.

Days pass so fast and I'm incredibly nervous for tomorrow. The moment where I sit and wait to hear a terror sound that could or couldn't make my parents proud. I beg Allah just to give me 5As eventhough I know I only get like a couple of them. InsyaAllah

Dear, ....

Sometimes I don't even think of him sometimes I miss him so much sometimes I can forget him sometimes everything's coming back sometimes I think I moved on sometimes I want him back sometimes I think everything is over but I really can't accept it. I don't know ):

Knotty part in my life.

At last, the moment we've been waiting for. My father got his pension income. It's quite a lot not that lot (I'm never grateful) because eventually his money will be finished. That tells me how complicated my life is. I will continue my daily life thriftily as my father is no longer working. Envious will always highly emerge in myself each time I look at the people surround me has better lives than mine. Hmmm, I should be typing a little bit more but since my mother is the best women who can easily piss me off, my mood drift away. I'm really having a burning heart right now.

Hardest lesson.

Some of you might wondering what ever happened to the person I used to admire excessively. The one who stitched in my heart, no? I remember I did mentioned time does cure every shit stuck. If Bulbasaur had learned Leech Seed than I have learned to let go. I know it is all over when I have been layered by peoples who had replaced me. This is the most condense lesson I have ever learn. Cannot believe I am that tardy. Though there are still some wounds left, I believe it would softly heal soon. From now on, no more him and no more anything.

Only the sweetest memories will stay :)