Friday, September 23, 2016

100 truths (6 years later)

So the last time I did was on 2010 I guess ? 6 years ago ? I'll be doing one, 20 year old me ! I'll be leaving my old answers below just to see how much I've changed :3

So since this is 100 truths I'll be answering this as honest as possible. Pink answers are the current


 1. Last beverage mineral water
  Pepsi ! 

 2. Last phone call: ika pantek =D
   I called my ex, U but just a misscall so last call was mama

3. Last text message: sheera syafeera 
Celcom reminding i've used 70% of my data

4. Last song you listened to: feeling this - blink 182
No Future-Blink182 !

5. Last time you cried: yesterday. 
On wednesday, 2 days ago 


 6. Dated someone twice: i've :D
Not sure my current boyfriend (Haikal) we had a thing when we were younger but Idk haha 

 7. Been cheated on: once, 
It's still once but I just don't really care now 

 8. Missed someone & regretted it: NO! 
I hvent been missing someone & regret it haha 

 9. Lost someone special: i've. 
Yea but I don't really care now

10. Been depressed: not always. 
Depression is part of my life :')

11. Been drunk and threw up: nahh 
Nah nope 


 12. black 13. blue 14. pink 

12. Black 13. Pink 14. Nudeeeee !! 


 15. Made a new friend: yessss :) 
I mean like a lot haha I'm in college now

 16. Fallen out of love: yessssssssss
What does this meana nyway hahaha nope i GUess  

17. Laughed until you cried: noooo 
I know I did but only if I can remember wht was it all about haha probably about Ari 

 18. Met someone who changed you: nooooot yet 
Changed me into what ? A better person ? No. No one changed me 

 19. Found out who your true friends were: nooooooo 
Gosh yes 

20. Found out someone was talking about you: yesss, there are manyy 
I mean.. yeah.. college life duh lol 

21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: nahhhh 
I don't kiss anyone on my friend's list 

 22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: 153
Wait what are we talking about facebook's friends life or what ? If then IDK

23. How many kids do you want to have: 3 or 5 
What was I thinking ? I want none or one 

 24. Do you have any pets: yes, cats -_-
Manja died & I dont have any pets anymmore 

 25. Do you want to change your name: hell no 
Kinda wanna kinda don't 

 26. What did you do for your last birthday: bekerja, -_- then jamm! :D
Fucking cried :) Because someone forgot to wish :) But he belanja sushi :) But no :) 

 27. What time did you wake up today: 6.15am *_* 
10.....? am Im awake at 2.35 now so does that mean I wake up at 1?

28. What were you doing at midnight last night: hehehehe >:)
TRYINNA GET MY ASS HERE, fuck Express Kesatuan

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: forgiveness and err mcm mana nak ckp ah, ahh, understanding 

 30. Last time you saw your Mother: before entering the gates of hell that is, school! haha kidding ;p
She's sleeping infront of me now still refused to go inside the room aww 

 31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: the divorced?
What divorced tho ? What was I thinking ? I would change the place I'm studying. I'm never good at leaving home 

 32. What are you listening to right now: sounds of the rain pouring, haha 
Fan spinning

33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: no
I guess not doh haha 

 34. What's getting on your nerves right now: my dad 
My assisgnments. I might actually die 

 35. Most visited webpage: Myspace, facebook, twitter,
Youtube, Twitter, instagram 

 36. Whats your real name: AZ QYEFARRA AZIZ BINTI ZULKIPLY

 37. Nicknames: For now it's Qi

 38. Relationship Status: Taken   3

9. Zodiac sign: Buto semua ni 

 40. Male or female?: Female

 41. Elementary?: 
SK Seafield 3 

42. Middle School?

43. High school/​college?​:​ 


44. Hair colour

I bleached it few times and coloured it back with chestnut brown so its lighter brown now

45. Long or short
Medium length 
Mediummmmm and growing :D

46. Height
154 I ain't growing, that's the part I hate being an Asian 
157 hahahahaha

47. Do you have a crush on someone?
No but I like some of my classmates. I like them blindly because they are devils
I have a crush on.. no one honestly I'm obsessed with my boyfriend

48: What do you like about yourself?
I'm easily change
Yeah lol its true I can easily change but I like that whenever I go I'll be looking back at home again <3 span="">

49. Piercings
I don't havea any new piercings haha

50. Tattoos
Nah :-) but I'll have one if I get to arrive in Heaven
Haha no

51. Righty or lefty
Was supposed to be a righty but then I was just meant to be a lefty 


52. First surgery
Hmm, never

53. First piercing
Ears, both left and right but they are drowned

54. First best friend
Haziqah Abd Halim <3 nbsp="" span="">
And always will be I guess ? Hehe

55. First sports you joined
Olahraga :'-)

58. First pair of trainers

I do remember now it was a shoe my dad bought at Giant ae I thought it was pretty cool


59. Eating

Kfc's coleslaw and mashed potato mixed

60. Drinking
Durian belanda 


61. I'm about to
Comb my hair and get dress 

Trying to get all my shit together today
62. Listening to
The Imaam reciting Al-Fatihah

Ari singing Flashlight

63. Waiting on
Dinner outing

Probably some food


64. Want kids?
I'm scared to give birth as the doctor once said I'll be facing risk if I get pregnant because I've problems with my backbones 

Yep, the same damn reason

65. Get Married?

66. Career?
Hahaha bitch IDK

67. Lips or eyes

Ohhh you got green eyes oh you got blue eyes ohh you got grey eyes

68. Hugs or kisses
Hugs & kisses

69. Shorter or taller

70. Older or Younger
Freaking older 

Doesn't matter

71. Romantic or spontaneous


72. Nice stomach or nice arms
Nice stomach! :-D 

Nice stomach haha

73. Sensitive or loud

Never a sensitiver 

74. Hook-up or relationship
Relationship la !

75. Troublemaker or hesitant

Troublemaker :<


76. Kissed a stranger


77. Drank hard liquor


78. Lost glasses/​contacts:​ 
Uh huh :-( 

So many times

79. Sex on first date
Nopety nope


80. Broken someone's heart
Many times 


82. Been arrested

83. Turned someone down
Uh huh and I kinda regret it because he was SO NICE and STILL

I guess thats just something I do ?

84. Cried when someone died
Not yet. But I cried when my cat died :'((((((((((((((((((((((((((

So many people had died man. Yes. I cried when my friend, my aunts died  

85. Fallen for a friend?

Alif Haikal

86. Yourself
Uh huh, I guess so 

I don't know maaaaaaaaaan :(

87. Miracles

Sometimes I do, 

88. Love at first sight
A litttle 

Haha everything at first sight is just nothing

89. Heaven
Absolutely, Jannah is real

90. Santa Claus
Bullshoot :-) 

91. Kiss on the first date
Omg don't remind me but it was sweet and funny :-]


92. Angels
Yes I do


95. Did you sing today?
Ooooo o oo oo yeah, I really miss you miss you I said. YEP!

I didn't

96. Ever cheated on somebody?
Yes, cruel me 


97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?
Back when in the 90's 

I could go into the 90s again but right now I just wish to be in school again when I wrote this 100 truths :(

98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?
You tell me omg everyday in last years was damn sweet. I'll take the day the first time you waved at me and I speak to you! 

The day when me and Haikal had a thing and I would accept him and go together with him <3 100="" a="" after="" did="" font="" i="" robably="" this="" truths="" year="">

99. Are you afraid of falling in love?

I don't want to fall in love with anyone else again.

100. Posting this as 100 truths?


Sunday, May 31, 2015

I am writing this because I want to express how I really feel towards myself. I'm just going to write this simultaneously so if my English is terrible, that's just how I write. I just realized I have been mediocre my whole life. I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing but according to my lecturer, that's just something not great. It's not even a compliment if you try to understand it longer. You're not too good you're not too bad. It still sounds okay to me. Or maybe that's just what is is, just okay. Nothing spectacular. 

I have been wasting my holidays with a lot of confining myself in a room for days, been staying up at night for several nights, fever that lasted almost one week and a depressing birthday. All of that wouldn't happen if I didn't have that thing called anxiety. I cannot explain what's wrong with me. I mean, the reason why I don't wanna go out from the house is mainly because I'm too scared. That's my real problem since I don't know when because I was doing pretty fine when I was 13 until 14, 15 is still acceptable. 

Until one day I began to change myself, wearing tudung, pray and stuffs that makes me so afraid of api neraka. Everything I see, I see fire burning people except I can't visualize the actual fire because api neraka is pitch black. Starting when I was 16, I barely go out & I don't remember after that until I noticed the changes to my old self at the end of the year 2012. I got my final examination papers and wondering why I did I dropped a lot. And so 17 was the age I started to become a satan again. I am so shameful of myself. I could've done better, at that time I swear I'm giving up SPM. But God is the most forgiver. I got pretty good results for SPM, something that's not mediocre to my mum. She said Alhamdulillah and I swore I would do anything to give my mum taste every bliss in the world. I regret for changing from bad to good and worse. It's true what they say, people's Imaan is very fragile if they don't keep up to strengthen it.

<br> But look at me now, I changed into a whole new person. I'm not as bad as before but I'm not an angel too. I keep myself in the house, not wanting people to see how pathetic that lady is. I am aware that I was born like this, And I also keep to myself that not everyone can accept me as who I am. Even if they do, I like to think twice whether they're just pretenting to not let me hurt. I'm very thankful for those who be friends with me sincerely, these type of people I can see it thru their face that they truly understand what's the meaning of temporary life. I may seem like a happy girl who laugh and smile and talk ordinarily like there's no wrong in my life. Only because I know no one would understand me. It's better to keep inside.  <br>
But cukuplah mati sebagai nasihat.<br>
I almost give up in life but I still want to find reasons for me to live longer.